It is a holiday in Trinidad and Tobago today - Spiritual/Shouter Baptist Liberation Day. I appreciate that we are a nation of many faiths and pray for tolerance and stronger communities in years to come.

Today I:

• Woke up early to listen to my Guru’s message on this day 5 of Blue Star’s 40 day retreat
• Attended a Vedic Astrology workshop hosted by my brother; learnt more about Rahu and Ketu - what they are responsible for, how they affect us and how we can harness their energy in our lives
• Visited some of my family (uncle, aunt, cousin); some reminiscing and an impromptu tea party
• Made it home just before dark and spent the rest of the evening decompressing with my partner

There are of course other things that made up the day. Each day is a new day of weighing what one can and cannot do, or will and will not do. Each day one determines where one wants to spend one’s energy, where it will be best spent when one considers what one wants to achieve.

This post is titled after the Harry Chapin song, “Cat’s in the Cradle”. A song I have known all of my life and have always found to be a bit sad and also completely understandable. I find it so relatable, especially now, in the days of my own adulthood when I have my own home and business to tend to.

I shared with a friend once, that the best period of rest, of sleep, that I have ever had was in the month following my marriage. It was a period of time where I did not have to care for or worry about anyone else but myself (because I am blessed to have a partner that is able to take care of himself). It was so needed and it was such a shift. A period of recognising that my family could take care of themselves (whether they wanted to or not) and that I needed to focus on myself. Our experiences shape us but we can choose how we move forward.

As I get older a lot of my family members have encouraged me to think about having children. While I am sure that there is a measure of grace in that endeavour I cannot imagine having someone else to take care of. I know that we would have help from family members but... I cannot imagine taking on that responsibility.

I shared with my family that I can’t imagine having a child now. I reflect on how we age, how much energy we have available to us, how I would want to be there for a child if I were to have one. I was surprised (and a bit relieved) when my uncle shared that he understood and that his thoughts were that one should have children earlier when there is time ahead to take care of and raise them, and support them into adulthood and having their own families.

It takes me back to thinking of the stages of life I shared in a previous post.

Our world is changing, I wonder how we will adapt. I work on surrendering, on building my faith, and on working through my days with grace.

How are you managing your time? How do you take time for self?

peace,

Renee Arundhati